Love Yourself WildlyAs someone who has struggled with a lifetime of depression, I can truly relate to the feeling of being stuck. When I’m depressed, I feel stuck emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Here is a list of things that help me when I’m feeling down. I’m not trying to make light of depression – these are admittedly difficult for me to accomplish sometimes. But I find just trying one thing or a portion of one thing helps.
Take a shower.
This may seem basic to people who don’t suffer from depression, but for me it can fall to the wayside when I’m feeling down. The thing is, I feel a definite energy shift when I take a shower. It’s even better if I wash my hair. It feels like I’m washing away bad energy. When I’m under the water, I do a little ritual. I say a prayer of gratitude for having running water and thank the water for washing me clean. It’s a simple way for me to feel fresh and new. If you have any leftover energy, brush your teeth and your hair.
Make your bed.
I started this habit a couple of years ago, and I found that I feel better when my bed is made. Whenever my bed goes unmade for more than one day, I gently and compassionately ask myself what is happening. I find this a good simple way to check in with myself. I know now that if my bed goes unmade it means my mental health is off in some way.
Stop beating yourself up.
Once I realized that there was this nagging little bitch in my head telling me that I’m not good enough, I wondered how long that dialogue had been running without me even knowing it. Just recognizing it when it is happening was an important first step for me, even if shutting her up can be really fucking hard. But let me tell you, if you want to achieve peace in your life, you’re gonna have to ditch that bitch in your head. Period.
Go to the doctor.
Or make an appointment. Or think about making an appointment. As a person with a medical phobia, this is a tough one for me. I also hate asking for help and like doing everything myself. It took me having a massive panic attack and catatonic breakdown (at work, mortifying), and being rushed to urgent care before I faced the facts that I needed to be medicated. I had been dealing with my anxiety and depression on my own for my whole life and didn’t want to take pills. But it was time to stop being a hero and let medical professionals help me. If you’re feeling depressed, go to the doctor and don’t sugar coat what you’re going through, like I did for years. Tell them what’s really going on. Tell them where your depression is, truthfully, on a scale of 1 to 10. Don’t say 6 if it’s a 9.
Ask for help.
This goes hand-in-hand with the doctor point. I battle with my need to do everything on my own, and my depression tells me that no one really wants to help me anyway. Can I just tell you something? THAT VOICE IS WRONG. Point blank. Don’t listen to that bullshit. Pick a couple of close friends who you know aren’t judgey and call them on the phone. I find calling and hearing a voice most useful. Or message them if calling is out of the question. Or, if that’s not an option, go to a doctor. Asking for help is a game changer. People want to see you get better. Get with the program.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and clean one thing.
I’m a lazy fucker when it comes to cleaning, and it gets way worse when I’m depressed. I found it helped me when I was feeling stuck to set a timer and just clean one thing. Often, those 10 minutes are enough to create a bit of momentum in my mental health.
Breathe.
I never really practiced this until recently. Breathing and grounding techniques are super helpful for my anxiety and have helped me through some difficult times. Take a deep breath right now. Doesn’t that already feel better? Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 2, breathe out for 4. Do that 10 times.
Get out of the worry spiral.
I have an ongoing cascading list of things I worry about, and when one goes away, another one appears. This is a habit I have been afflicted with for my whole adult life. However, I found a great way to break myself out of it is to ask myself why am I worrying about this. For example, asking myself “what will happen if this happens / doesn’t happen?” and then asking and answering it until I get to the nitty gritty of what’s really bothering me. It feels like I get to be my own counsellor.
Practice gratitude.
Okay this sounds super corny, I know. But here’s a weird one, but if I tell myself at bed time that I am excited for tomorrow, I sleep better and wake up feeling good almost 100% of the time. I know it’s corny as hell, but I try to think of 3 things I’m grateful for before I go to sleep. I recently read an article that said gratitude can actually rewires your brain to feel happier. So, even if you think it’s corny, I guess we can’t argue with neuroscience (but this is admittedly more difficult when I’m depressed).
Get the fuck out of bed.
I’m a huge Mel Robbins fan and she talks about the power of not pressing snooze and getting out of bed in the morning in her book The 5 Second Rule. As an alcoholic and generally lazy person, I have struggled with this one for years, but I truly subscribe to the idea that when I get up earlier in the morning I usually have a better day. That morning time allows me to take care of a few things around the house, journal, enjoy my coffee, and just breathe instead of scrambling around like an idiot.
At the very least, know that I know how you’re feeling. It will get better, I promise. Hold your head high and keep pushing.
